BLOGS
Lead Beyond Limits
A newsletter for high-achieving executives who sense there's more to success, offering insights to lead genuinely and confidently.
Discover tools to excel authentically, not just efficiently.
From Self-Doubt to Conflict Mastery
Conflict is part of leadership, but it can feel overwhelming for leaders who doubt themselves. The fear of saying the wrong thing, making things worse, or looking unsure often leads to avoiding conflict. But here’s the truth: Conflict doesn’t have to be scary—it can be a chance to grow and lead better.
Self-doubt often brings up thoughts like:
What if I handle this the wrong way?
What if my team loses respect for me?
What if I sound too harsh or too weak?
These fears lead to two common mistakes:
Hoping problems will go away on their own (they usually don’t!).
Being too defensive or aggressive to hide uncertainty.
The goal is balance: Handling conflict with confidence and a calm mindset.
Common Workplace Conflicts
Understanding conflict helps you handle it better. Here are four common types:
Task Conflict – Disagreements about priorities, deadlines, or responsibilities.
Relationship Conflict – Clashes due to miscommunication, personality differences, or trust issues.
Value Conflict – Differences in personal beliefs, ethics, or cultural backgrounds.
Process Conflict – Disputes over how work should be done or decisions made.
Feeling stuck on how to handle conflict effectively? Let’s uncover your unique strengths. Book a confidential strengths assessment today!
Simple Strategies to Manage Conflict with Confidence
If self-doubt makes conflict hard for you, try these strategies:
Take a Pause
Before reacting, stop and think.
Ask yourself:
What’s really happening here?
Am I assuming the worst?
What do I want to achieve in this conversation?
Taking a breath before speaking helps you stay calm and clear-headed.
Using "I" Statements
Blaming can make things worse.
Instead of “You’re always late with reports,” try: "I’ve noticed some delays with reports, and I’d like to discuss how we can fix this." This keeps the conversation productive instead of defensive.
Listen First
People want to feel heard.
Use phrases like:
“It sounds like you’re frustrated—can you tell me more?”
“So what I’m hearing is…”
Repeating key points shows understanding and helps ease tension.
Looking for a Win-Win
Conflict shouldn’t be about winning—it’s about finding common ground.
Ask:
“What would help us move forward?”
“How can we make this work for both of us?”
Shifting the focus to solutions makes conflict easier to resolve.
Set Clear Next Steps
Before ending the conversation, summarize what’s next:
“Let’s check in weekly to stay on track.”
“We’ll use a shared deadline tracker for better accountability.”
Clarity prevents future misunderstandings and builds trust.
A Simple Conflict Conversation Guide
If conflict makes you nervous, follow this structure:
Describe the Issue: “I’ve noticed that…”
Express Concern: “This has impacted [project/team] by…”
Invite Discussion: “I’d love to hear your thoughts on how we can fix this.”
Suggest a Solution: “What if we tried…”
Agree on Next Steps: “Let’s commit to…”
Self-doubt doesn’t have to stop you from being a strong leader. By using these techniques, you can approach conflict with clarity, build trust, and improve team relationships.
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© 2024 Donna Oard
